Sunday, July 21, 2013

.. of Shopping


The perfect shade of grey.

Though this does remind me of something... has anyone noticed that the back pockets on J.Crew denim have gotten a little out of hand? I tried on two pairs yesterday that fit like perfection then I turned around... aaaaand Mom Butt.

I know I know, the thinking is that the larger the pocket, the smaller your butt looks. Like if I stood next to Yao Ming...


I would look tiny. See? Look how small their butts look! Just kidding, they're Asian and therefore their butts are not in the running... no pun intended.

In general, this strategy works. I'm sure it has something to do with the laws of physics. J.Crew though, with their pockets the size of Kansas made my ass look inverted. 

Too much J.Crew... too much. I know your regular clientele would prefer to hide their ass-ets to appear even more spindly than they probably already are, as evidenced by the denim names, Matchstick and Toothpick.

I however, am not one of those people. Based on the names, I shouldn't even be trying them on! Just like I shouldn't be in Forever 21. But, I did what I did. And they did what they did. And it was bad. 

So in the future, if we could all agree that Butts aren't Bad and Asses are Amazing, I think we'll have more Super Sales and Ringing Registers. Until then...